Defebwar 最近的评测

I don't write reviews. It's not my thing. I don't usually feel compelled to tell people if I loved something or hated it, but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. This isn't a review, it's a warning. Don't waste your time. The big takeaway from this game is to live your life...this is not living. I want to uninstall this experience from my brain.
PROS:
• The game is so short, I'll forget it existed.
CONS:
• There are barely any options, just invert axis, and turn sensitivity from Throw Up Instantly to Still Too Fast, But This Is The Lowest It Goes. Don't bother playing this with a controller.
• The controls. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Again, don't play with a controller. Something happened with the mapping where moving diagonally makes you move at ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 1 pixel a second. Just use KBM. Jumping is not intuitive for people who have been gaming forever. You need to jump way ahead of the edge or you just fall off. I can't imagine this is casual friendly. Explains why people were complaining about the bunny level. The "platforming" was annoying when trying to jump the way I would expect in any other game.
• The audio. I had this game at 50% in the beginning, could barely hear the VO. Then I had to emergency turn it down to 13% because the balance is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Headphone warning. Thank ♥♥♥♥ I have speakers.
• The Story. This was clearly written by a bunch of dudes trying to cash in on the cozy puzzle game genre on the heels of Life is Strange. The story feels so hollow, the gameplay is disjointed and doesn't allow any room to enjoy story, which I guess is good, because the story is so surface level, anyway. "Office job bad. Everyone is an NPC at work, except me. I used to have an imagination. Remember all the fun I had as a kid? I should do more imagination stuff. The End." I wish I was kidding.
• The VO. Ouch. I wouldn't be surprised if they got someone from r/RecordThisForFree. The emotion is in the wrong places. I think the best VO was from the lady who calls you in the office & tells you she doesn't know how to use email (the only time I laughed).
• Graphics. This is an asset pack mishmash. First, it looks like Stanley Parable, then a janky side scroller, there's an isometric walking simulator, rotation based puzzlers, a level where you're randomly a rabbit, then a car. I do understand where the devs were going with this, but my word. Disjointed is really the word for this. I WISH it were stylized. It would make it SO much better. Most of the other stuff I've listed are easy fixes, too. Obviously a graphics overhaul would take too much money/time, BUT, I do think their next project could definitely learn from this.

In short, I genuinely thought this was a college project and was going to write it off, for that reason, but this is a kickstarter game— at least the game was made, lol. The screenshots make it look like it was going to be like Fez (fantastic game, wish it was anything like Fez). The puzzle sections are so simple, I think it's taken me longer to write this review than play the game. Unfortunately, I've left it open this whole time, so I can't even check.
Oh well. Save your time, come back for the next one, maybe.

This game was so cozy and relaxing. If you like low stakes games like Slime Rancher, this is the game for you!!
Don't worry, there aren't any sharks or anything that attacks you in this game, at all. I always worry about underwater games. I have a terrible fear of them, for some reason. The only thing you have to worry about is your oxygen level and cleaning up all the goop. The loddles are such a nice touch. It really brings life to the game. 10/10 would play again.

This game is INSANE. I didn't need this in my life. My friend got this for me as a joke. Joke's on him. I made him sit through the WHOLE THING while I streamed it to him on Discord. We started at 3:30am and finished up by 7am. He's never regretted spending $3 more in his whole life. I had a blast. This will make you immune to old-guy-dictator peen. The prologue and true ending are honestly worth sitting through all the endings. Do yourself a favor and just spam spacebar to skip all the history and pseudo-history...unless you're into that. No kink shame. Have fun.

10/10, would buy again. If this game had a league, I'd be in it (or would train to be in it). I love this game. Competitive cooking with appliances that move around, with no risk of getting burned irl? Yes. Sign me up. Need more real world recipes that are "Slice three mushrooms, put in pot, cook for 45 seconds, serve mushroom soup." I'd actually cook.

Also, you can be a dinosaur.