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报告翻译问题

1. His bullets do more damage than mine
2. I didn't know he was there and he shot me when I wasn't paying attention
3. he always seems to not die when I am shooting at him I NEVER MISS because I am the greatest CS:GO player of all time
4. he knifed me once
5. I lost the match and he caused me to derank
6. I did better than him during warm-up, so he clearly toggled on mid-match
7. His USP-S killed me in 1 shot despite me unloading my Glock in his general direction
for free for me? Can they invite me somewhere at least... I still want to get a fart male white porn, but PLEASE can someone invite to a free fart male orgy? Er- I live in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. PLEASE! I'm addicted to fart male whites... porn. I mean mean I'm addicted to a group of fart males.... uh fart.. uh white.... guys fartin' in my face! Please wear jeans or gray sweatpants PLEASE. I live in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. I wish to get somebody to fart- to invite me to a fart male white porn orgy. PLEASE! PLEEEASE!! Can somebody invite me to a fart male white porn orgy... PLEASE!!! I wish to be in a free fart male white porn orgy... How bout' dat? And then can someone hire me.... PLEASE! I wish to get a free fart male white porn orgy.. Can someone invite me?? I don't- I don't have no money, I don't have a job, but PLEASE! I'M ADDICTED TO a fart- to uh- to white males fartin' in my face. PLEASE!!!! PLEEEEASE!!!! Please...
.....| ノ ヽ../⌒)
... /⌒) (゚) (゚) | .| ▂ ▪ ▂▄▅▆▇■▀▀〓◣▬ ▪ ■ … . +REP
.../ / ( _●_) ミ/ .▂▅■▀ ▪ ■ ▂¨ ∵▃ ▪ ・ +REP
.( ヽ|∪| / ◢▇█▀ ¨▂▄▅▆▇██■■〓◥◣▄ +REP
....\ ヽノ / ■ ▂▅██▅▆▇██■〓▀▀ ◥◣ ∴ ▪ . +REP
...../ / ▅▇███████▀ ▪ ∴ ….▅ ■ ◥◣ +REP
....| _つ◥▅▆▇████████▆▃▂ ▪ ■▂▄▃▄▂ +REP
....| /ω\ \ ■ ¨ ▀▀▀■▀▀▀ ▪ ■ ∴‥ +REP
....| / ) )
.....∪ ( \
\_)