Steam 社区 :: Gabenfoodle

Gabenfoodle

Джонсон

Wisconsin, United States

Yes, you should read my profile, it's the best

My religion is Chinese and I go to church at Panda Hut!” - Alex, 2013

“I shoot lasers out of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eyes!” - Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon

“It's not that I don't like ________, it's just that I don't want him hearing me talk bad about him.” Foodle,

“WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BUDGET FOR THAT!” - Jedi, 2015

“It's not animal cruelty, it's natural selection, with cars” - Tim, 2015

"It's not that you're immature, Johnson, it's that you're gay" - Foxhole, 2016

"Turkey is where ham comes from." - Foodle, 2016

"df a balloon took my horse lol" - Dobie, 2017

"The CIA is like Wiley Coyote with access to Predator Drones" - Archer, 2010

"Yamakas are just foreskins for your head" - Ben, 2018

"Skootilipooping" - Ben, 2018

"Stay liquid!" - Gunnar, 2019

"Life's a ♥♥♥♥♥ then you die" - Some TV show, 2018

"I like my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ just the way it is"- Ben, 2021

"The only stripper I need is Gaza" - Ben, 2021

"Except in dreams, you're never really free" - An old guy, 1975

"You can put tits on just about anything" - Luke, 2021

"I'd turn gay for your voice man." - Someone in Hell Let Loose 2021

"Your ♥♥♥♥ is bigger than Adam Sandler's." - A crazy ex, 2021

"I’m not spending a red cent on the world’s lamest-looking hand cannon. If I want to see a fat dude with a small ♥♥♥♥, I’ll go look in a mirror instead and save myself the 400 bucks." - Ben, 2023

"I speak Benjabi." - Ben, 2023

"i don't know what it was before, but now it's a BAD NADE!." - Ben, 2023

"Derek, you're a legend!" - My editor, 2023

"You have nice legs!" - My legally blind professor, 2023

"I mean, objectively, you are attractive, I think," - Bridges, 2023

"I’m so wet at the thought of scissoring your sternum" - Matt, 2026

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An aspring failure

My name is Johnson. Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carelessly and always repeat myself. I have told you my name, and that's the who. The where can most readily be described as a prison cell. But there's a vast difference between being stuck in a tiny cell and being imprisoned. The what is easy. Recently, I planned and set in motion events to become the perfect failure. That's also the when. As for the why, beyond the obvious opportunity to farm karma, it's exceedingly simple. Because I can. Which leaves us only with the how. And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub.

I like to write, take pictures, and take short walks along the Gaza Strip. Feel free to message me, I only bite when I'm sober.

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