🎅⛄🎄🍬 𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼🎁🎿⛷🌨🎅
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠍⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠹⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⢡⢛⡩⠭⣡⣤⣬⡩⢙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣇⠊⣘⡻⠉⠿⣿⠿⠏⢻⣿⠷⣦⡍⠻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡟⡰⢠⠄⣾⣷⣴⣾⣷⣶⢡⣍⢩⣴⣷⡌⠇⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿⣿
⡇⢿⣌⡛⢛⡋⠌⠛⠿⠿⠷⢋⣼⣿⡿⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿
⣿⣌⡻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹
⣿⣿⢣⠀⣌⠃⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸
⣿⡏⠄⣒⠈⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣸
⣿⣿⣷⣥⠀⠀⢉⠳⠦⣤⣀⣀⡤⠴⠊⠁⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣰⣿

In 1884, meridian time personnel met
in Washington to change Earth time.
First words said was that only 1 day
could be used on Earth to not change
the 1 day marshmallow. So they applied the 1
day and ignored the other 3 days.
The marshmallow time was wrong then and it
proved wrong today. This a major lie
has so much boring feed from it's wrong.
No man on Earth has no belly-button,
it proves every believer on Earth a liar.

If I had the ability to stop time, I would become a porn star. Why, you ask?
Well, right when I'm about to release my clam chowder all over my actresses face, I would freeze time and take a break.
Then after my break, I would dump some more baby-gravy on her face and freeze time again. I would keep doing this for what feels like centuries. Just thousands of times of me unfreezing long enough to dump mayonnaise and refreezing again.
Then after all of that time of releasin' the semen, I would unfreeze time. then lo and behold, the world's longest and most unexplainable moneyshot with the girl being buried in the Elmer's glue.To top it off, my hair and beard would continue to grow the whole time so as I'm spewing out this monumental load of gusher juice and my hair would gray as I aged away.
people would talk about the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that changed the world for millenniums to come

┈┈╱▔▔▔▔▔╲┈┈┈HM┈HM
┈╱┈┈╱▔╲╲╲▏┈┈┈HMMM
╱┈┈╱━╱▔▔▔▔▔╲━╮┈┈
▏┈▕┃▕╱▔╲╱▔╲▕╮┃┈┈
▏┈▕╰━▏▊▕▕▋▕▕━╯┈┈
╲┈┈╲╱▔╭╮▔▔┳╲╲┈┈┈
┈╲┈┈▏╭━━━━╯▕▕┈┈┈
┈┈╲┈╲▂▂▂▂▂▂╱╱┈┈┈
┈┈┈┈▏┊┈┈┈┈┊┈┈┈╲┈
┈┈┈┈▏┊┈┈┈┈┊▕╲┈┈╲
┈╱▔╲▏┊┈┈┈┈┊▕╱▔╲▕
┈▏ ┈┈┈╰┈┈┈┈╯┈┈┈▕▕
┈╲┈┈┈╲┈┈┈┈╱┈┈┈╱┈╲
┈┈╲┈┈▕▔▔▔▔▏┈┈╱╲╲╲▏
┈╱▔┈┈▕┈┈┈┈▏┈┈▔╲▔▔
┈╲▂▂▂╱┈┈┈┈╲▂▂▂╱┈

Why was my comment posted on this subreddit? None of my comments are copypastas! It is very offensive for you to make fun of my intellect by pretending like I’m joking. I do not consent to your plagiarism of my intellectual thesis, and I will be contacting my lawyer very soon to ask them how I can proceed to take action on your post

　▅　 ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀★
▕▕╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╲╲　　　　　 ⠀⠀ ⠀ ✰/█\✰
▕▕╱╱╱╱╱╱╱╱▂▂╲╲ 　　　 　 　 ✰/██\✰
╱▂▂▂▂▂▂╱╱ ▂◤◥▂╲╲ 　 　 　 　✰/███\✰
▔▏▂┗┓▂▂▕░░░░░░░▕▔　　　　 ✰/████\✰
░▌┍┯┑┍┯┑▌░░░░░░░░ ▌　._██_ ✰{█████}✰
░▌┝┿┥┝┿┥▌░▌░░░░▌░ ▍ 　( • • ) ✰{██████}✰
░▌┕┷┙┕┷┙▌░▌░░░░▌░ ▍.─(░•░)─ 　 　_||_
░▌❥✿✿✿✿❥▍▩▩▩▩▩▩▩▩ ╬ ⠀ (░ • ░) 　　 \\__//
🎁🎅😝 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕤𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒 𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕪 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕤 𝕊𝕖𝕟𝕡𝕒𝕚 😝🎅

In 9 teen hundred 4 two hitler sailed the ocean blue and he found a ship that made him goo it was from atlantis thru and through and then he stole it my oh my his face got destroyed by girl thighs.

Dipping your balls in isopropyl alcohol feels good.
Feels like Satan sucking your nuts. The irradiating sting of a thousand kisses from the nether. It clenses the balls of their slime, their impurities. Maked you quite the bit more humble of a man. For you have now put your plums through the D-Day of nuts. They come out red, burning for hours. But they smell of the poison that lurks within your treasonous soul corrupting your mind. It blisters the evil away.

Hair salon Peroxide, and 100 percent hospital grade rubbing alcohol on the sack keeps the sack humble. 90 percent of your thoughts come from the ball sack and not the brain. They must be pure my son.

The coin purse is meant for dipping. I dip mine in Ranch dressing. The cat loves that.

Fairy godmother lookin mf

★.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
☆╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ ★ ★ ★
★║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
☆║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ 𝙉𝙀𝙒 𝙔𝙀𝘼𝙍 ☆ 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟜
★╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ￥☆★☆★☆￥★☆★☆￥★☆￥
🌟💥☆°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜ ˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜ ˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.💥🌟

I became the first person to ♥♥♥ in 2024

December 31st 2023 - I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my ♥♥♥♥ desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2024. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white ♥♥♥ everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.

I had just become the first person to ♥♥♥ in 2024. I look over my ♥♥♥ filled desk and chair with pride.

So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to ♥♥♥ in 2024. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of ♥♥♥ everywhere. bow down to me, the ♥♥♥ lord of 2024.

Happy new year, losers.

✿ 😉 ✿« ۰۪۫H۪۫۰۰۪۫A۪۫۰۰۪۫P۪۫۰۰۪۫P۪۫۰۰۪۫Y۪۫۰ »✿ 😉 ✿
✿ ✿ ⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇ ✿ ✿
♣ ۰۪۫H۪۫۰۰۪۫O۪۫۰۰۪۫L۪۫۰۰۪۫I۪۫۰۰۪۫D۪۫۰۰۪۫A۰۰۪۫Y۪۫۰۰۪۫S۪۫۰ ♣

❤ ♡❤ ♡❤ ♡❤ ♡❤ ♡❤ ♡
😋 ➹⁀➷‿➹⁀➷‿➹⁀➷➹⁀➷‿➹⁀➷‿➹⁀➷ 😋

...............✨
................🌟
...............🎄✨
.............🎄🎄
...........🎄🌟🎄
.........🎄🎄🎁🎄
........🎄🌟🎄 ✨
.........🎄🎁🎄🎄
.......🎄🎄🎄🎉🎄
....🎄🎁🎄🌟🎄🎄
.......🎄🎄🎄🌟🎄
.....🎄💛🎄🎄🎄🎄
...🎄🎉🎄🌟🎄🎁🎄
.............🎄 🎄
.............🎄 🎄
⛄❆-MERRY CHRISTMAS!-❆⛄

...............✨
................🌟
...............🎄✨
.............🎄🎄
...........🎄🌟🎄
.........🎄🎄🎁🎄
........🎄🌟🎄 ✨
.........🎄🎁🎄🎄
.......🎄🎄🎄🎉🎄
....🎄🎁🎄🌟🎄🎄
.......🎄🎄🎄🌟🎄
.....🎄💛🎄🎄🎄🎄
...🎄🎉🎄🌟🎄🎁🎄
.............🎄 🎄
.............🎄 🎄
⛄❆-MERRY CHRISTMAS!-❆⛄

be crimes do gay

A guy like you is always running his mouth, isn't he? You're the big tough guy behind a computer, but in the real world, I'd break you in half like the twig you are. You got some balls, keyboard cowboy. You should try leaving your mother's basement and maybe getting a job, you bum.

♡ ∩_∩
（„• ֊ •„)♡
┏━∪∪━━━━┓
♡ Merry Christmas! ♡
┗━━━━━━┛

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲

You like FromSoftware?

Their early work was a little too archaic for my taste. But when Dark Souls came out in ‘11, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole game has a clear, crisp play-feel, and a new sheen of consummate edge that really gives the game a big boost. Miazaki been compared to Eiji Aonuma, but I think Miyazaki has a far more bitter, dark form of storytelling. In ‘16, Miazaki released this; Dark Souls III!, their second best selling game. I think their undisputed masterpiece is “The ringed city”. A dlc so so hard, most people probably don’t pay attention to the symbolism. But they should, because it’s not just about breaking a painful cycle and the strength required to do so. It’s also a personal statement about the game itself.

Roses are red 🌹

Violets are blue 💙

Faces like yours 🤡

Belong to the zoo 🦍

Don't be mad🤯

I will be there too☺

Not in a cage 🙅‍♀️

But laughing at you😈

casu//...

Actually mom, they’re called traps and they’re far superior than just regular “girls.”
In fact, girls don't even do anything for me anymore. The concept of overpowering a failed male with your superior masculinity is far more appealing than just the same old T and A. Sorry mom. I don't expect you to understand, but I googled it and I found that it's only 2.19% gay. So don't sign me up for any LGBT support groups. It's practically completely straight.

-Rep
🤢One Piece🤢

Thank you for finding the sauce, allow me to show my thanks by dedicating my next nut for you. You have seriously made my day and I want to thank you. I cannot explain how frustrated I was trying to find the sauce of that, but you have ended my suffering. Once again, thank you.

🟨🟨🟨⬛
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛⬛
🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛⬛⬜⬜⬛
🟨🟨⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬜⬛
🟨⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛
🟨⬛⬜⬜⬛⬜⬜⬛⬛
🟨🟨⬛⬜⬜⬜⬜⬛🟨⬛
🟨🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛🟨🟨🟨⬛
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛
🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟨🟨🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛🟫🟫⬛
🟨🟨🟨⬛🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫⬛
🟨🟨⬛🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫⬛
🟨🟨⬛🟫⬛🟫🟫🟫🟫⬛
🟨🟨⬛🟫⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟨🟨⬛🟫🟫🟫⬛
🟨🟨🟨⬛🟫🟫

Oragami Idiot

Just unsubbed from r/familyguyporn

That sub has been flooded with low quality posts during the last couple weeks. It’s really quite a shame, because I used to visit it daily back during its prime. There has been too much Meg and not enough Lois.

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───▄▄██▌█ beep beep
▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ gay porn delivery
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▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)▀

I didn't wear a mask at Target today. None of my lungs collapsed as I got no sickness because bacteria are a liberal hoax. A brave patriot wearing a metalica shirt, a gay pride hat, and cool doctor Octopus glasses saved me by not wearing a mask and open mouth kissing me. I thanked him and asked if he was a dentist and he said, "who needs dentists when we live in England", the country without proper tooth hygene. I hugged him and threw my gay pride hat on the ground. The English song played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their gay pride hats and began chanting, "god save the queen!" Aragon, Legolas, and Gimli looked down upon us from the shire and clapped

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.

1

If Catholics believe nuns are married to Christ, and bread is the body of Christ, nuns should be allowed to have sex with bread.

This assumes the bread is consecrated, as in the eucharist. As I see it, if Catholics believe that: Sex within marriage is allowed, but outside of marriage is sinful; Nuns are married to Christ; The eucharist transubstantiates into the literal body of Christ; then it follows that they should be able to have sex with said bread.

The only possible counterexample I can think of is that procreation is impossible via sex with bread, but, from some Googling, it appears that Catholics are still able to have sex within marriage after conception is no longer possible (i.e., post-menopause) as long as they do not actively try and prevent conception (source here). I can't imagine an objection based on non-monogamy given the inherent non-monogamy of all nuns being married to Christ.

Please change my view, this thought is haunting me.

Chili dogs

BOWSER’S GAY

-Rep

You ♥♥♥♥ with the wrong furries and you'll have an army of the most toxic, bullying furries hunting you 24/7

Also, its just childish. Furries are a fandom of self expression, we raise money for charity, we help the economy, we spark change and reform for both animals and humans. And we're supported by 5 finger death punch.

So grow the ♥♥♥♥ up. Leave furries alone And go back to your sad, pathetic, worthless lives mastubating to anime characters that will never love or care for you.

🤯🤯🤯 DON’T PAY 💰 ANOTHER 🔄 PENNY 👱‍♀️ TO NINTENDO 🎮 FOR THEY HAVE TAKEN 🔫 AWAY 😂 BOWSER’S GAY 🏳️‍🌈 RIGHTS ✔ BY REMOVING 🗑 THE OH 🙀 SO BELOVED 😍 MISHEARD 😕 LINE 〰, “ SO LONG 🍆 GAY 🏳️‍🌈 BOWSER!” AND REPLACED 🍸➡🍺 IT WITH A TERRIBLY ✔ BLAND 🐢 “ bye-bye” AND I 👁 CURSE ‼ THAT PARTICULAR 😇 NINTENDO 🎮 EMPLOYEE 👤 AND ALL 💯 WHO LOVE 😍 THEM WITH AN EARLY 🕐 AND WELL 😦 DESERVED 🏆 GRAVE ⚰!! I 👁 WOULD RATHER 👉 TEAR 😂 OUT MY BRAIN 🧠 STEM 💓💗💖, CARRY 🍛🔛 IT INTO MIDDLE 🖕 OF THE MIDDLE 🖕 OF THE NEAREST 🚦🌐 4-WAY INTERSECTION 💦🔄🔁 AND SKIP 🐧 ROPE ➰ WITH IT, THAN CONTINUE ⏩ HEARING 🗣👂 MARIO’S BLAND 🍞 BYE-BYE 👳 * grumbles for at least ❗ a half 💀 hour 🕐* #makebowsergayagain

Can anyone tell me wot type ov eggs can I get my lil boy if he is lack toast and tolerant ? N where from?

Your female parental guardian and person that birthed you out of her uterus in result of continued sexual intercourse is affirmatively as per my observations a homosexual member of the species known as homosapien and commonly referred to and known as humans.

Recently I (73m) converted to Judaism💰💸💰, and was told to get circumcised🍆✂️ by my rabbi🕴🏼.Being a proud naturalist🌷🌲 I knew I could not go to the doctor🤡. This led me to the decision to stick my peen🍆 in the one liquid 💦💧 I know to burn 🔥 away all unnecessary substances👳🏿‍♀️ drain cleaner🧪. When I stuck my pp🍆 inside I instantly heard a thump on the bottom of the bottle, when I look down my pecker🍆 was gone!!!!! Instead of this happening 🍆✂️ this happened 🍆⚔️. I am currently in the process of suing🏛 the company. Will update.

Edit: As I am Jewish I have won all of the money💴. I am currently nae naeing on the fathers who have been laid off and the families who will have no source of income.

"Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments,and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there.

Gandalf once said: "A wizard is never late, nor is her early, he arrives precisely when he means to." Didn't know Comcast employed so many ♥♥♥♥ing wizards.

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer"

Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline.

"Why not? Don't you like the internet?"

The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen.

"I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble."

The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and

Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction...

"BAZINGA"

In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.

I want to ♥♥♥♥ California’s earthquake fault line
The dirt, the debris, the thought of the earth quivering under me as I slowly stick my ♥♥♥♥ into its gaping wide entrance. I keep looking at news stories and getting the firmest erections of my life seeing those beautiful cracks. She’s so open and so wanting. Each earthquake is like another whimper just begging for me to take her. The amount of ♥♥♥ I’ve lost just thinking about thrusting my rod into our beloved planet. Talk about getting my rocks off. ♥♥♥♥ I’m hard.

Capcom Presents...

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.

amazing