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报告翻译问题

It's five to ten years from now. You're sitting in a restaurant, enjoying a lovely meal, when I walk in, accompanied by my wife, my children, and my human pet (whose genitals are covered as it enters on all fours and is wearing underpants).
If my family and I then make an order of our own at the table next to you, in what way have we infringed upon your freedom? What rational basis do you have to demand that we leave our beloved pet at home?
sniffs and notices ur bulge owo wats dis squeezie ur bulgie uwu ish sho juicy and big owo
Like real women are all fine and dandy but some of these artists can make some amazing things. Good hentai is just amazing, and there's basically a great artist for every fetish, futa? We got you, autofelatio? We got you, Into feet? We got you, Big tits? Small tits? We got you. That one with gigantic women with small men? We got you, you into incest? We got you. Basically anything you can imagine has probably been drawn.
I know I'm beating a dead horse here(hell if you're into that there's probably hentai of it) but hentai is amazing and I'm so grateful for these amazing artists that put in so much hard work to give us awesome material to, uh, work with.
If you said "kiss me again," I'd do it.
If you said "never look at another man, even in movies, for the rest of your life," I'd do it.
But if you told me to go one day without jacking it to your old photos, you'd have to color me a naughty li'l boy.
You recently commented "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ You Husky :I" on my profile. I have reported you to Valve for this message and I hope you know that it stands as irrefutable evidence that you are strongly involved with a malicious cyber-bullying ring called N0xious Krew.
You have one chance to apologise otherwise the Valve Task Force will permanently ban you from the website, and the Steam client itself; If i feel threatened enough I'll also get the police force involved and I'm sure you'll have a fun time explaining to them what you mean by damning me you psycho.
Thank you for your understanding
Tu és meu amigo.
Isto é um comentário.
Comentário feito.
Now, gimme me my medal!
Hello, I welcome you as a new Member at the Club and wish you pleasant stay.
# to bring forward own ideas
Please contribute your suggestions for improvements. I'm always open to suggestions. Take part in discussions!
Build friendships and invite friends to the Club.
Would you like to play so arrange an appointment with synchronized time.