Infinite ♥♥♥. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to ♥♥♥ uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your ♥♥♥♥ into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to ♥♥♥ into the shower drain but it builds up too fast.

You try the toilet. The ♥♥♥ is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the ♥♥♥ from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the ♥♥♥. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The ♥♥♥ is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to ♥♥♥ all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own ♥♥♥. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the ♥♥♥ begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the ♥♥♥ is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with ♥♥♥ instead of molasses. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge.

Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You squeeze your ♥♥♥♥ to stop the ♥♥♥, but it begins to leak out of your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ instead. You let go. The force of the ♥♥♥ tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the ♥♥♥. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of ♥♥♥ hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives.

Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the ♥♥♥ begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your ♥♥♥ sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. The ♥♥♥ begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking. Your eyes slowly open

Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity. “You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room. “Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos. “You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.”

“How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity. “You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or ♥♥♥♥-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity. By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.” “Will I not die?” “You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist” . Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.