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报告翻译问题

I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.
└📁Program Files (x86)
⠀└📁Steam
⠀⠀└📁steamapps
⠀⠀⠀└📁common
⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁Skills
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁 Aim
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty
📁USB (F:)
└📁CS:GO Cheats
⠀└⠀✅AimBot
⠀└⠀✅Chams
⠀└⠀✅Trigger
⠀└⠀✅Rage
└📁BestJavPorn
⠀└⠀✅Creampie
⠀└⠀✅Gangbang
⠀└⠀✅Horny
⠀└⠀✅BigTits
wheres my PC with no cables, huh?
wheres my Atari 2600 with no cables, huh?
wheres my Playstation with no cables, huh?
wheres my Wii with no cables, huh?
…….... (¯ O´¯)...
…….…... / | ............♫ Warmest wishes♫
……… ...*•♥•*...................♫ for a ♫
…… ... *♥♫♫♥*'...........♠♫ Merry Christmas ♫♠
… .... *♥•♦♫••♥* ................♥.. and a...♥
..... *♥☺♥☺♥☺♥* ........ ♠♫ Happy New Year♫♠
.....*♥•♥#♠*♥#♥•♥* '
....*♥♫♥♥♫♥♥♫♥♫* '
...*♥♥☺♥♫♥♫♥☺♥♥*'
..*♥♥♣♫♥♣♥♥♣♥♫ ♣♥♥*'
'*♥♥♣♥♫♥♥♫♥♥♫ ♥♣♥♥*'
.......... ╬╬╬╬╬...........
IN CANADA HEHEHHEHEHHEHE
wheres my Wii with no cables, huh?
NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE !!
Signed by Prod
Signed by 𝓒𝓪𝓽/𝓜𝓮𝓵𝓲 ♥
═▂▄▄▓▄▄▂
◢◤ █▀▀████▄▄▄▄◢◤
█▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀╬
◥█████◤
══╩══╩═
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬ just dropped down to say
╬═╬
╬═╬ don't care
╬═╬☻/
╬═╬/▌
╬═╬/