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报告翻译问题

→ No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation. -- Fran Lebowitz
→ If you are a police dog, where's your badge? -- Question James Thurber used to drive his German Shepherd crazy.
🎁 ✳ 🏀 ✳ 🐛 ✳ 📒 ✳ 🏓 ✳ 👾 ✳ 🍇 ✳ 💗 ✳ 👽 ✳ 👑 ✳ 🥒 ✳ 🐳 ✳ 🌸 ✳ 💛 ✳ 🚕
Yours truly, Hilario Spickerman (the cat)
💎 https://psteamcommunity.yuanyoumao.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1167058449 🎄
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┃█ u hv 2 dads █┃
┃█ -Mom&Dad █┃
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I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard♥♥♥♥♥♥push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.
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.....'....''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'
...............|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
......,-''\':\: :'~„„_: : : : : _,-' NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOOOWN
__„-';;;;;\:''-,: : : :'~---~''/| NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU
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╠╣╠║║║║ ║
║║╚╚╚╚╝ O ̿’ ̿’\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿
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may cost u only 20 buzks :)