i wonder if this feeling will pass.

if the skin rotting beneath my eyes will become a permanent color of blue,

if the bruises on my knees will fade to nothing more then flesh.

they say this feeling goes away as you age

it doesent...

im sure about that.

i feel the agonizing sensation of pain rotting beneath my chest as the hot mountain water flows down my neck.

i think my soul will rot and burn as others grow flowers with the soil of their burdens,

i wish i could be as beautiful as those flowers.

to be born out of something so rotten and diseased yet still be as alive and beautiful.

if maybe this body of flesh and sin will free me and maybe for once, i’ll be happy purely again-

there will be no “this will be a happy memory” or “this feeling will not last, i’ll be sad again.”

my soul will simply never feel once again.

but even so- would it be better to feel nothing?

to not feel the unholiness beneath your chest that pumps blood.

to not feel the sorrow of once before,