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报告翻译问题

Well, I arrived in hell after those pricks in purgatory told me that me murdering 3 children for calling my nose ugly was "a SiN". I tries telling them over and over again that they were asking for it, but it didn't help, so I was thrown down here. Bastards.
Anyways, the place isn't all that bad. Sure, the constant fire is unbearable, but in the very least you get to converse with interesting people. I once spoke with this guy called Adolf about art, he seemed like a big fan, although he sounded a bit bitter...
The place could definitely do with some ACs though, and I am a bit uncertain if all this burning fire is "safe". I voiced concerns to this guy called Lucifer, but he wouldn't bother talking to me and told me to talk to this guy called Satan, who was incredibly rude to me. The customer service down here is, for lack of a better term, proper ♥♥♥♥♥.
Regardless, the place is not all that bad. I'll give hell a solid 7.45/10. I'd gladly recommend most people check it out!
dont talk to this man