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Loving or trusting another person may be difficult and perhaps there's just a point where you have no desire to be disappointed again or hurt but you have to at the very least accept yourself. Experiences will beat you down, and sometimes it feels much easier to just repress your feelings and fall into the pit of self-hatred. Reflect on yourself, love yourself and if you are discontent with your flaws, try to improve based on your past mistakes and regrets or just accept that you're bound to make mistakes or decisions that seemed stupid in hindsight. Yes, I'm aware it's easier said than done, I will never know the degree of pain a person goes through even if we have similar experiences.