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报告翻译问题

But srs tho lenny was so mainstream.
He was forced to go to a strip club everyday as he needed to finish a bucketlist that his late
Hornfather gave (A Hornfather is a horny grandfather).Its says,
1. Rape a random hot girl every Sunday
2. Watch porn with your friends on Monday
3.Don't make friends with a person named 'Dusky'
4. Go to HornyHornHorn's strip club everyday
5. Find a Lennipede...
So today, I didn't make any friends, but I am going to go to the strip club tomorrow.
As I was walking, I found a Lennipede! It was long and huge (Kinda like a ♥♥♥♥)
I didn't know what to do with it so I grabbed it and carried it (Somehow)
The Lennipede felt very good and slender, it was very comfortable to hold.
I just brought it to my hornfather and dropped it on him, out of the blue, he turned alive!
The Lennipede ate off his ♥♥♥♥ and replaced it! My hornfather then grabbed me and threw me into my room.
Till this day, there are still many Lennipedes, if you see one, don't go near it.
If you had payed close attension, what was the day that
the horny man found the Lennipede? The winner will
be a Moderator! For the person who got second place,
Will be the player of the week! (I will decide)
╚═(███)═╝
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..╚═(███)═╝
…╚═(███)═╝
…╚═(███)═╝
..╚═(███)═╝
.╚═(███)═╝
╚═(███)═╝ WOW! You encountered a wild Lennipide! Only great people and friends see this
.╚═(███)═╝ rare creature! If you know a great friend, send this lennipede to them; It is a
..╚═(███)═╝ sign of great fortune and luck!
…╚═(███)═╝
…╚═(███)═╝
…..╚(███)╝
……╚(██)╝
………(█)
After Dusk puts the tape on Dusky's mouth, Dusk continued to drain Dusky brutally, they heard a scream from upstairs "DUSKY! THE GAME'S ON!" Titan Mann cried. Titan Mann became suspicious of Dusky's absence after a minute, Dusky loves Rewind, after the last one, Dusky couldn't wait to watch Rewind III. So Titan Mann decided to investigate downstairs to check if Dusky's ok. Then Titan saw the entire thing "WHAT?!" Titan screamed at the top of his lungs "WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥?!".
Dusky murmured "Mmmph!Mmmmmmmph!".
Dusk smirked "Please don't get close to me or else...".
She holds the rope tightly in her hand and pulls it a bit.
It was unbearable and Dusky cooed "Mmmmmph~~~".
Distracted by Dusky's load once more, Titan Mann looked at Dusk with disgust. While he did, Dusk quickly punched Titan in his face causing Titan to lose consciousness. As Titan's vision slowly fades back, he seems to be immobilized by some sort of rope "Oh ♥♥♥♥" exclaimed Titan as he remembered what Dusk did to Dusky, Titan tried to break free,but before he could, Dusk slammed the door open and Titan sees Dusk weilding her whip. "Can we just talk this through?" Titan said with a terrified voice, Dusk just smirked, and proceeded to whip Titan's ♥♥♥♥ .
He loved to eat ♥♥♥♥...roaches everyday
He was a racist American
Then one day he played db in shana and found his new talent.
MIC SPAMMING (Loud ♥♥♥♥♥♥ anime background music)
Then he met a pedo named Alpha.
Something... wierd happened and he was banned for the rest of his life from TF2.
What happened? If you can guess this you are a ped..... i mean The player of the week so ya enjoy guessing cuz i dont have an answer so the one who is the most reasonable wins i guess...
Once upon a time there lived 2 sexy and horny ass couples. They were ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ every single day.
one day they went to a lake.In the end when they where ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ , they died how is that so?
So gays how did they die?
so