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报告翻译问题


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
Also, save you some time and confusion, heres the original message:
Clarisse, my dear, how I missed you. Now we can both be free, free of this choleric torture my profession forces me to witness every day. Also, I do believe we are both making fools of ourselves
Ok, Vlad the Impaler is ok, but you get my point.
GLITTER HARDER, SO I CAN TRACK YOU DOWN AND
KNULLE DIN SKALLE, ♥♥♥♥!
/me puts on Guy de Chauliac mask
"Mettons-nous obtenir nos histoires tout droit, mon cher. Je tiens une seringue remplie de sang infecté, tandis que votre bras est incroyablement vulnérable. "
*cough*
BUT YE SPILT THE BONG WATER, NOW ZE CARPET SMELLS LIKE CHEAP WEED
You never did pick up the table. How unladylike.
I HAD GOD CARDS ON THAT TABLE! I PAID LIKE 60 BUCKS!
AND THEY ARE FAKE!
PICK
UP
TABLE
...
♥♥♥♥ THIS GAME
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
BUT
REAL MEN HAVE NO TIME FOR SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS
LET US DEPART TO PLAY MAGIC:THE GATHERING
And don't worry about the name driving people away. THAT IS MY JOB
♥♥♥♥♥ ASS NAME TRYING TO TAKE MY JOBS.
But maybe I'm being too hard on it. It might grow on me
LIKE FLESH EATING FUNGI
Because as we all know, drugs kill people and mushrooms will steal your soul.
JUST LOOK AT THE HIPPIES.
Your rebuttal?
Because really, I've been waiting for you guys to get us some tits, but I'm not a patient man. It's a real sausage fest around here, apart from Walros.
Aw yeah, bow chica wow wow!
That was a haiku.
MERDE
MERDE
DAFUQ DID YOU DO
BACKBURNER?
YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE
IN HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL(Oh, wait, atheist. Damn.)