y'all drinkin WATAH?

y'all drinkin WATAH?!

ALDERAAN - Locals are no stranger to the Killik conflict, and recent parliamentary debates have re-ignited questions on bugsluts. Some argue that bugsluts have had a raw deal, and that they should get off despite the climax of the conflict that the planet is currently on the edge of experiencing. Others believe that bugsluts should be rammed with the full extent of Alderaan's judicial girth. These arguments will come to a head when the Formation for the United Counter to Killiks bill is voted on this week.

CORUSCANT - Chancellor Bytan has been criticized for comments he recently made during his campaign for reelection. While attending a remembrance ceremony for the Catharcide, he chastised those who were thinking of not voting for him "If you're not voting for me, you're not a Cathar. My opponent is a dangerous Neo-Mandalorian who will bring hatred to this Republic." Chancellor Bytan's main opponent, Senator Param, is a Cathar himself and denied claims of being a Neo-Mandalorian. This comes after the Vice-Chancellor stated they were well acquainted with the Jedi Master Revan, at a time before the Jedi was even born.

DROMUND KAAS - On this week's episode of Rancor Ring, a promising cure for the Rakghoul Plague was presented. Lord Oliri said that "I truly believe this has the potential to bring widespread relief to the galaxy. And for that reason, I'm out." The invention was eventually won over to Lord Klin-Ton, who obtained the full stake in the product after the untimely death of its inventor.

Posted by: Republic News Network
Date: 21 BBY

Scenes of chaos were beamed across the holonet as Republic forces completed their evacuation of the planet Ryloth.

The small garrison had been there to provide a Republic presence, and provide support to local security forces. Reports of equipment such as blasters and speeders falling into the hands of the Free Ryloth Movement had brought questions to the good of this presence previously.

However, it didn't take long for Separatist forces to spear an assault on the planet. With senior planetary officials such as Senator Orn Free Taa having already fled, negative morale compounded.

"Do you see any similarity between what is happening, and what happened on Rodia?" the Chancellor was asked in a recent press conference.

"No. You're not gonna' see, uh, an LAAT flying above a Republic embassy. What you had on Rodia was the Rep-, um, Separatist army breaking the ray shields of the embassy down."

In a galaxy at war, however, things change quickly. Holoimages of an LAAT gunship above the Republic embassy on Ryloth have been circulating widely. Combined with criticism of the Chancellor's handling of the Mynock virus, Palpatine's approval ratings are in a risky situation.

Representative Binks was selected as the first speaker in the Senate today and was expected to address the situation. However, Senator Amidala was required to provide him notes when Senator Binks opened with "I forgor."

Durnkin Donitz, Republic News Network.

Posted by: Coruscant News Network
Date: 22 BBY

The Judiciary Force today released a statement updating the situation on Jedi Master Yoda, who is currently embattled in allegations of misconduct during his time on the Jedi Council.

"As our investigation continues, we've been able to put together a clearer picture of events," said Lieutenant Bogos Binted.

"We take these allegations very seriously, so when the possibility of a false report based on a personal vendetta came to be more likely, we expanded our investigation accordingly."

The Judiciary Force is releasing Master Yoda on bail with a summons for next month, but has refused to elaborate on the specifics of what personal vendetta may be involved in the case.

Many have pointed at Master Yarael Poof as a likely candidate, including several senior government and Jedi members who requested to be anonymous.

Celery Cilantro, Galaxy City.