GET OVER HERE

Limbo doesn't smell nice. I'm not talking about the game, although when I play it my house does get a strange scent to it.
I'm talking about the space between this life and what could be the next. I smelled like, well, to be honest, nothing. I just thought that was a good intro, I think my english teacher would be damn proud.
Anyways, after Tech murdered me with his butter knife, I sat around in Limbo for a while. It wasn't until 5 minutes into it that. Then a strange figure approached me.
The figure, to my surprise, was Man of 1000lb. He told me how he was sent to Limbo to judge people as to where they go after death since the folks in the underworld decided he was pretty useless in real life, which wasn't too off.
Man led me through a strange bulding. Inside there were little elves moving around doing paper work. There were hundreds of printers, though some had signs on them that read "This printer is now known as Bob Marley, because it always be jammin'". There were also scattered piles of feces. All the ink for the printers left no money for the bills apparently.
Soon we reached a small office in which Man sat me down. He told me that I would need to answer questions. He handed me a piece of paper and a pencil. The paper read "The Test", so obviously the folks in Limbo aren't the most clever.
I read the first question. "Have you ever masturbated to anyone under the age of 18". That didn't make much sense as I was under 18. But I put down the answer anyways.
Yes.
There were a lot of other random questions.
Have you ever enganged in Illuminatic activities?
Have you ever used illicit drugs?
Have you ever considered suicide?
If I dropped a Dell laptop in the ocean, would it be Adele; Rolling in the Deep?
What did the first escalator say to the second?
I answered all of them to the best of my ability. I handed them to Man, and he had one of the elves look over it. Eventually the elf was done and whispered something to Man.
Man shook his head and looked at me.
"Myth, what did the first escalator say to the second?"
"Nothing, escalators can't talk!" I said.
Man shook his head again, "Myth, you're such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dumbass, the answer is 'That escalated quickly'. smh, bro, smh...."
He pulled down a string that hung from the roof.
"Sorry Myth, you're going to hell.

So if you haven't noticed, for the past 2 weeks I've been offline, and on the internet, when you're away for longer than 72 hours you're declared dead, thus my fate was decided as so.
I figure I owe an explination. So here it is.
Up to the point of my death a little less than 2 weeks ago, my mental stability was slowly declining. The reason for that is unneeded to be explained cause, well, franlky, ♥♥♥♥ you.
Non sexually.
No ♥♥♥♥.
Unless you're female.
Wait...
What?
Anyways, eventually I was exposed to something via youtube. I saw this video. More specifically, it was a music video. A music video for 2 Chainz song, "I'm Different". I watched it. Actually, I was forced to watch it by the Illuminati because I knew too much.
As I watched it, my eyes watering and Hilary Clinton holding me in place, I slowly felt my IQ points draining. My IQ went from 124 to 24 in a matter of 4 minutes. I became a literal ♥♥♥♥♥♥. No offence if you're reatarded, but, it happened. People didn't call Michael Jackson racist for turning white, did they? No. So ♥♥♥♥ off.
My sudden stupidity caused my brain level to be the equivalent of someone who's addicted to pot. I became a total dumbass. Because of this, I did what every other pothead does. Go to clubs.
Once I reached on, I was in New York. Every other club along the way just seemed to dirty. So I entered this club. I think it was called "Toys R Us" or something. I don't remember, all I know was there was a lot of kids, toys, and subliminal advertising encouraging drug use.
I tried to get the party going. I turned up some Daft Punk music and plugged in some strobe lights. There was strangely no bar, so I had to settle for some apple juice in this kids sippy cup. After about twenty minutes I hear sirens, and the cops busted down the doors. And by that, I mean opened it. They grabbed me whilst my violent headbanging was occuring, so I accedentally hit one of the cops hard in the groin, causing me to pass out. When I woke up, I was in a jail cell. I started screaming. A nice man in a white van came up to me and told me I had been arrested for assault, trespassing, creating a disturbance and encouraging a violent lifestyle amoungst younger kids.
I sat in that cell for what must have been a week. At one point the man came up to me and told me I had been bailed out. Outside stood a slightly overweight teenager with glasses and wispy hair. As I walked closer, he pulled down a Darth Vader mask over his face. Once I got close I was confused.
"Who are you?" I asked.
The man smiled. Or, at least, I assumed he did. He has this nerdy ass mask on so it was hard to tell. "Hello Myth," he said.
Then it hit me. I knew that voice. I pulled back memories before my brainwashing.
My eyes widened.
I opened my mouth, but I felt it. I felt it enter my heart. A thin, sticky butterknife. The man lifted up his mask.
The last thing I saw before the stale butter on the knife entered my blood stream was the satisfyed grin of Techlord.

Yeah, so apparently there's steam in heaven. Or hell. Wherever myth went. And now he's joined the group. So let's take a moment to say "hi" to our ghostly friend.

Also, now that I've lured you all in, I'm going to turn this into a "tfc2" group.
Because I'm too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lazy to send invites.

~karma