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Left4Dead and player of the week

Paltry Engineer — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 00:35:14 +0000

well due to the wonder of the internet my first post was lost, gone i tells ye but nevertheless i shall continue

What can i say? Those of you who have yet to expirience this awesome display of violence and cranial explosion are missing out on somethig truly special. I have been shotgunning people in the face at a rate that would please an african dictator and can honestly tell you now that shit never gets old. The brain spray...oh the brain spray it pleases me in a way that borders on sexual and there is something truly glorious about 4 M16's in sustained automatic fire into a group of defensless "civillians". Although it may never outdo the arguably finest moment in the hisory of gaming that will eternally belong to doom 3 for allowing you to shotgun a baby to the face all i can say is that in your annual extortion of an obese red clad holiday figure that you add left 4 dead in there next to your requests for vast amounts of money, trained monkey manservants and volkswagon beetle's (cromwell). Oh and by the way player of the week....its me, merry christmas bitches MUHAHAHAHAHAH

Finally Welcome to sanjuro, i have no idea who you are, but given that your here some miscreant judged your profanity mojo to be strong, so as long as you can string a childish joke about genitals you should fit right in, no were not retarded here but we ARE all about self improvement.

Finally as a timly reminder for those of us who play WoW, (well theres only one really) "All hail the Nazi Warmachine" will in fact get you banned...strange that

FUCK im awesome...just ask me :D

Game reviews, done properly

Crommwell — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:25:19 +0000

Whilst bored at a friends place we started watching videos on youtube...many rally accidents later we stumbled across Zero Puntuation. The only way to explain it is to think of Paltry talking really fast with a british accent and not pausing to take a break as he criticizes games to the point where you accept his point of view, or preform a bizzare ritual involving a goat asking for the critic to die a most agonizing death! Result? entertainment at its finest, enjoy!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation

Player of the week

Paltry Engineer — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:32:28 +0000

its valkyrie, for hiring chinese gold farmers to kill me in TF2 decietful and underhanded. I salute you.

On a side note everyone get left for dead its the fucking shit, heads explode, brains get sprayed, theres co op thats fucking brilliant sadly headshotting babies is at this stage not possible but nevertheless it certainly pushes the happy button

Paltry is thrusting in the direction of the crowd

Paltry Engineer — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:36:33 +0000

player of the week and after a glorious reign of over a month i shall award this splendid honour to another worthy of bearing the title or the first person with a decent joke about boobies either way i WILL be entertained. so standback as i force feed you excellence with the same enthusiasm the people of long gully force feed genitalia to the outside population. after much deliberation i award this to.......skill incarnate who many a time has suckered me into joining a server playing for three minutes, saying Be right back, and then up vanish like a fart in the wind, not at all to be confused with the "hey guys hang about i gotta back one out and its gonna be savage" 2 and three quarter hour toilet break, so for always without nfail finding something more pressing in the middle of a game i award this to you ....even though despite daily PC usage you wont see this for over a month i salute you sir your attention span knows no bounds

Player of thew week

Paltry Engineer — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 23:43:53 +0000

get some player of the week bitches..... and its.....ME, Yes since i appear to be the only one here not in some sort of education department rort called "holidays" i shall take this award and no one will stop me muhahahahahah ...wait i have to work on monday, damn you :SHAKES FIST: now im sure your saying wait hes been player of the week for like 5 weeks now, or maby you dont give a shit nevertheless you are indeed correct and i have been player of the week for five weeks and that has absolutely nothing to do with recent drunken hoe downs in geelong, but like any good irresponsible person in a position of authority i have abused my position for petty reasons and personal gain and see no reason to stop so congratulations to me and join in honouring how much better i am than you

(especially skill, you suck USE WINDOWS its free!!!)

Alright bitches player of the week time again

Paltry Engineer — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:49:33 +0000

as i sit here waiting for skill to finish fuck assing around with his BULLSHIT laptop loaded with FAIL OS, i shall award player of the week..and it goes to.....well ME, thats right for no reason other than exceptional service at being me i bestow this prestigious award to myself.

Honourary mention goes to Valkyrie who has resorted to hiring "Goons" to kill me, which ordinarily i would approve of wholeheartedly but in this case particular satisfaction was taken in the unfortunate demise of my good self that bordered on sexual gratification. oh i forgot it was "his idea", nevertheless good times were had by all..except red as they were furiously raped by a obese disproportionate sandvich fuelled russian man, but i digress

So in closing i accept this award and all the responsibilty that goes with it and so you may all go now safe in the knowledge that i at this very moment am considerably better than you.... well moreso than usual >:)

Where Good tastes goes to die

Paltry Engineer — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:13:04 +0000

Well well its update time bitches and as It was mentioned by a person (you know who you are) that i havent updated my "Insane Rants" lately and it got me thinking.....about necrophillia, and after the obligatory "man that was weird " thought i realised HEY! shes right its been a month almost without so much as a whimper of how astonishingly better i am than skill incarnate or delivering the prestigious Player of the week award, but fear not for i have the medicine. But the blame for the lateness and irregularity of this post does rest squarly on the shoulders of one Mr Cromwell who with his devil program Hamachi has subverted me from my honour bound duty of calling one particulaly inferiour sibling a "lover of boys" on a semi regular basis,and Skill incarnate my dear and beloved sibling and rectal mauler, you never call, you never write, im starting to think that you have come to love and respect me as an individual and harbour me no ill will. Do you realise that it has been well over a week since you have called me a "semen drinking scum-fuck pornographer of the elderly who partakes in angry goatsex?" or wished ill will upon me?. What happened to you man you used to be cool it used to be about the music....er insults!...youve changed man.
But i digress and like mr Baldy amongst the vienna boys choir i must thrust forward to the buisness at hand PLAYER OF THE WEEK. and this week its Valkyrie, i dont know if cutting off that uber after incouraging me to charge 2 SG's and three heavies was intentional or not but then laughing as several thousand rounds of burning hot sodomy entered my very Un-ubered anus and exploded me in every way possible it is to be exploded and some that are essentially impossible, and to then blame me for said invasive rectal excavation was callous, cruel, unsporting even and shows a level of bastardry and contempt for your fellow man not seen since skill incarnate.... i commend you, and for your display of bad taste and unsportmanlike behaviour i award you this prestigious....uh Award! so go forth honoured player of the week and burn pillage and plunder all that you find.

Also by the way skill incarnate you can make your own posts if you hijack mine like "Player of the week....SKILL INCARNATE" it dosent show as a new post then i cannot fully enjoy your publishing of literature branding me a farm animal mollesting sock puppet loving butt slut and that my friend is truly a crime

Ahem player of the week is......CROMWELL

Paltry Engineer — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:52:11 +0000

yes cromwell has gone above and beyond the call of duty by bringing forth something of such depravity and repugnance that it shocked even me, yes the throne of ooooohh fuck me thaqts disgusting previously held by armpit fuckingand gary busy has been vacated and replaced withg something so much more depraved so without further add ...a glimse into the fetid world of mechophillia!!

http://www.thedocumentaryblog.com/index.php/2008/06/04/my-car-is-my-lover/

BTW Skill Incarnate you dont have to highjack my posts make your own then i will see they have been updated and continue our little game of verbal jousting, i must say however your reply is hurtful and littered with obscenities and accusations of beastiallity....good to see you havent softened uip too much

Player of the week....SKILL INCARNATE

Paltry Engineer — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:40:15 +0000

Thank you ian for your light hearted and most enlightening view inside my gut wrenching financial status.
The speech was most touching....and by touching i mean the way that you touch small children and animals when you think that nobody is looking.
To remedy my financial burdens i have decided to take up your suggestion of an adult movie. It will be a movie of such filthy repugnance that people will void their bowels upon the viewing.
Of course i will dedicate the movie to my dear brother and ensure that there are sock puppets, a monkey being violated and at least 1 person having his nipples removed by a rottweiler.

I invite all clan members to partake in this most prodigious marvel of adult cinema and bring friends and loved onces to gaze upon it as well. I know Paltry Engineer will be Pre ordering his copy.

Corrupted!

Crommwell — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:15:18 +0000

So I was bored, I admit it was my fault, innocent, gullible and probably a little naieve I decided to look at TF2. Might as well seeing as I did pay for the entire Orange Box just to play Portal, might as well get my moneys worth and play the other games. After getting hugely frustrated hith HL2 to the point where swearing just would not relieve any stress I decided to move onto TF2, I knew Iain had been playing so I thought "What the hell, not like Im actually going to like the game that much but its somthing to do!"

Now being fairly new to this sort of online gaming, I was in for quite a shock to realise some of the people I was playing against really shouldn't have the ability to speak! Madness is the only way to put it! However I was determined to not let it beat me, I pressed on. After playing all the characters I decided on the Demoman as my character of choice, explosives and alcohol was surely a great mix :) First few rounds were a bit rough but I slowly got used to the idea of planting "An assload of stickies" on anywhere of intrest and blowing the crap out whatever got near it, it was really rewarding!

Then it happend, from out of no where I started using voice chat, things were not the same after that. Mostly I talked to Iain as he knew where to put Sentrys and generaly what I should and shouldn't do, very handy :) But what I often forgot was that he could hear what I was saying AND vice versa, corruption was iminent!

I swear quite alot more at the computer when things aren't going right, quite alot more as I found out :P. Between my swearing and Iains penis and rectum jokes I formed more creative swearing! luckily I have held back the urge to unleash on an un-suspecting player but I feel it could happen, like a dark, sinister side of me is being born through me every time I launch Steam and click on TF2, every time a player starts singing or screaming continually, or maybe when for the 100th time someone states the FUCKING OBVIOUS!!!!

Oh dear, he came out again. I will do my best to try and control it but I fear its only a matter of time before the calm, nice and sometimes a bit of a bastard turns into a complete psychopath!

I cherish the thought ;)