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报告翻译问题

jk lol lmao imma go kill my ass of now
Well technically, nah
Have you ever caught a heretic?
Like a, like a real super Saracen?
Nah
Have you ever used a trebuchet?
Nah nah
Alright, I can see that I will have to teach you how to be Crusaders!
Now listen closely
Here's a little lesson in conquering
This is going down in history
If you wanna reclaim the Holy Land
You have to chase an enemy Saracen
What are you doing?
We're the First Crusade
DEUS VULT
We're the First Crusade
We're the First Crusade
Ha ha ha
Now look at this net, that I just found
When I say go, be ready to throw
Go!
THROW IT AT HIM NOT AT ANTIOCH
Ugh let's try something else
Now here's the deal, watch and learn
He'll slip and fall just like Jerusalem!
Ha ha ha ha
YOU EMBARRASS THE POPE
We will take Jerusalem!
DEUS VULT
DEUS VULT
De-us-Vult-A-ve-Ma-ri-a
Non-No-bis-Do-mi-ne
We're the First Crusade