Fun AND (NOT AT ALL) Educational

We play games so you don't have to! Why would you want to play games? Games are dangerous.

One of the children in my neighborhood played a game once, and he went missing for four hours! When his parents finally found him, his hands had been swallowed by the controller, which refused to give them back. The father had to take a hammer to it, breaking its bones. He then had to peel off the flesh, and push aside the organs to find the controller's stomach, whereupon he tore it open, pulling out his son's hands, which were partially digested. They were able to get the hands permanently reattached, but they were horribly disfigured. And backwards. The surgeon had been drinking that day.