kill urself im daddyy stalin

Cs go is love Cs go is life
Revan was only 23 years old.
He loved CS:GO so much.
He had most of the achievements and items.
He prayed to Gaben every night before bed, thanking him for the inventory he's been given.
"CS:GO is love," he says, "CS:GO is life."
His elder Dragon hears him and calls him a silver scrublord.
He knows his elder is just jealous of his son's devotion to Gabe.
He calls him a console peasant.
He slaps him and sends him to sleep.
He's crying now and his face hurts.
He lays in bed, and it's really cold.
He feels a warmth moving towards him.
He looks up.
It's Gabe!
He's so happy,
Gabe whispers into Revan's ear, "Try your chances... Open a case."
Gaben grabs Revan with his powerful dev-team hands and puts him on his hands and knees.
He's ready.
Revan opens his pockets for Gabe.
Gabe puts his hands deep into Revan's pockets.
It costs so much, but Revan does it for CS:GO.
Revan can feel his wallet emptying as his eyes start to water.
He accepts the terms and conditions.
Revan wants to please Gabe.
Gaben lets out a mighty roar as he fills Revan's computer with keys.
Revan opens all the cases and gets nothing worth anything at all.

CS:GO is love...
CS:GO is life... 

I was only 12 years old.
I loved CS:GO so much.
I had all the rare skins.
I pray to Gaben every night, hoping I would unbox a knife some day.
"Gaben is love," I said. "Gaben is life."

My dad overhears me and calls me a hacker.
I know he's just jealous that I got recruited into FaZe clan.
I call him a hardscoper.

My dad no scopes me and sends me to my room.
As I feel my numb face, I turn on my PC and log into Steam.
My hands are shivering as I click on the "PLAY" button to open up CS:GO

"I'll show that hardscoper," I said.
I open up the Steam Market Place, and purchase 20 Half Life 3 Cases and Keys.

10 minutes have passed by, and I've unboxed 19 Battle-Scarred Negev l Desert Strikes.
As I move my cursor over to the final case, I click and select "OPEN".
My cursor moves even slower as I move it towards the giant, green "USE KEY" button.

I click the button.
As I see all of these weapons fly by, the scroll finally starts slowing down.

"I can't look," I said to myself. "My dad will noscope me when he see's that I've spent six grand on super exclusive and rare Half Life 3 Cases and Keys.

I close my eyes and listen as I hear Gaben laughing over me, as if I am almost certain that I did not get a knife.

I open my eyes.

A large clump of feces leaves my ♥♥♥♥ very quick, as my eyes look at the item I have just been given by the Holy Gaben himself.

Another clump starts sliding out as I stand up to run to my dad to tell him that I've just unboxed a StatTrak Factory New Karambit Fade.

My dad cries as he suddenly gets his Steam account hacked by OpTic.
I pull out my new knife and quickscope his face.

I then walk into my room, take my pants off, and thrust my pelvic region into the air, imagining Gaben with me.

"Gaben is love, Gaben is life."