ASIC is now actively looking for competitive basement dwelling no lifes who have not touched grass in their ENTIRE lives to fill out minesweeper roster.

Requirements

-Must have been single your ENTIRE life and have no social relations with anyone (I.E family, women, men, even your grandma P.S tell her I said hello and she might wanna take a pregnancy test.)

-Only eat hotpockets and drink exclusively diet mountain dew (cmon guys we got an image to uphold can't have anyone over the weight of 537 pounds.)

-No previous minesweeper exp required even if your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ we will forward your retarded ass to Chris (our talent improvement coach) to flame you 24/7 because you're mentally challenged. (He will do no actual coaching because you're worthless)

We do not appreciate your time reading this or your applications. Please if you meet any of these requirements DO NOT REACH OUT

-Bren

Hello fellow sticky ipad children haters. Officially as of 8:26 on August 11 2021 we decided to announce out disposition towards the generation known as sticky ipad children. This includes anyone with a runny nose and an ipad REGARDLESS OF AGE. Please make sure to harass and tell them you ♥♥♥♥♥♥ their mom and are the only reason alive because her ♥♥♥♥♥ was so bad even their "dad" wouldn't breed that ♥♥♥♥♥. Thank you.