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报告翻译问题

before I was invited to this regamunt I dint know what ta do with myself. I wandered from game ta game, but none of them appealed to me like en dubya. then I was invited to this regamunt. the minote before this, i was contemplated suicide. I would stab muhself with my replica 1800 musket bayonet. but thunks to the kind souls at the 3rd regiment of elite nazi shooturs, my life has porpoise again.