Weaponized toilets for time wasters?

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appendixmagician 16 小时以前

In short, when someone plants their posterior on the toilet, a timer (duration customizeable, by default 10 minutes) will start counting down.
To safely survive the death toilet, the person must, before the timer runs out:
a) wipe and fully dress up
b) flush the toilet
c) open the door
Inside the toilet will be several sensors, which will allow the toilet to know which of these conditions have been fulfilled.
Failure to comply within the time limit will unleash the 'super evil terminator toilet mode'. The death toilet will arm itself with dual mounted machine guns. For mobility, it will fashion arthropod-like legs. It will then proceed to take out the 160-200cm walking dump, before returning to it's original location and resuming it's ordinary function of being a toilet.

I think humanity will benefit from my invention. Give me a big 'ol thumbupper

if you'd like the death toilet as a christmas present.

最后由 appendixmagician 编辑于; 15 小时以前

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正在显示第 1 - 15 条，共 17 条留言

Сааребас 15 小时以前

Heck no!

I want a coffee and/or something to smoke when taking longer then 10 minutes.

Listen, your parents earned the right to take the whole freaking day on the toilet, if wanted and your siblings have the exact same right... in case that's relevant.

appendixmagician 15 小时以前

引用自 Сааребас：
Heck no!

I want a coffee and/or something to smoke when taking longer then 10 minutes.

Listen, your parents earned the right to take the whole freaking day on the toilet, if wanted and your siblings have the exact same right... in case that's relevant.

Toilet time must be optimized. You can look at your mobile device, read a book, or do any other activity without taking the bathroom hostage. Plus there's the risk of hemorrhoids. I am doing you all a service.

lailaamell 15 小时以前

引用自 appendixmagician：
引用自 Сааребас：
Heck no!

I want a coffee and/or something to smoke when taking longer then 10 minutes.

Listen, your parents earned the right to take the whole freaking day on the toilet, if wanted and your siblings have the exact same right... in case that's relevant.
Toilet time must be optimized. You can look at your mobile device, read a book, or do any other activity without taking the bathroom hostage. Plus there's the risk of hemorrhoids. I am doing you all a service.

Ppl should just hold it in until they get home

Сааребас 15 小时以前

引用自 appendixmagician：
引用自 Сааребас：
Heck no!

I want a coffee and/or something to smoke when taking longer then 10 minutes.

Listen, your parents earned the right to take the whole freaking day on the toilet, if wanted and your siblings have the exact same right... in case that's relevant.
Toilet time must be optimized. You can look at your mobile device, read a book, or do any other activity without taking the bathroom hostage. Plus there's the risk of hemorrhoids. I am doing you all a service.

Nah, toilet time needs to be relieving (pun intended).

steven1mac 15 小时以前

I think shooting water at near freezing at the offending butt after ten minutes should be enough.

Tröjan 14 小时以前

Good idea

Valorthief Actual 13 小时以前

Either ♥♥♥♥ or get off the pot literally die.

a loud pop 13 小时以前

Good idea, though the legality of sitting on Off Topic posters will need some kinks sorting out.

HermitTheMissleToad 13 小时以前

引用自 appendixmagician：
In short, when someone plants their posterior on the toilet, a timer (duration customizeable, by default 10 minutes) will start counting down.
To safely survive the death toilet, the person must, before the timer runs out:
a) wipe and fully dress up
b) flush the toilet
c) open the door
Inside the toilet will be several sensors, which will allow the toilet to know which of these conditions have been fulfilled.
Failure to comply within the time limit will unleash the 'super evil terminator toilet mode'. The death toilet will arm itself with dual mounted machine guns. For mobility, it will fashion arthropod-like legs. It will then proceed to take out the 160-200cm walking dump, before returning to it's original location and resuming it's ordinary function of being a toilet.

What about those of us with gut issues, who may or may not need more than 10 minutes?

appendixmagician 13 小时以前

引用自 HermitTheMissleToad：
What about those of us with gut issues, who may or may not need more than 10 minutes?

引用自 appendixmagician：
(...) a timer (duration customizeable, by default 10 minutes) will start counting down.

#10

HermitTheMissleToad 13 小时以前

引用自 appendixmagician：
引用自 HermitTheMissleToad：
What about those of us with gut issues, who may or may not need more than 10 minutes?

引用自 appendixmagician：
(...) a timer (duration customizeable, by default 10 minutes) will start counting down.

My bad.

#11