I say "i love you friend", 'peace and love", "wish you the best", "meat meat" while secretly despising people or wishing the worst for them. Does that make me good or bad

I’m more like chaotic neutral

No.

I try to be i have many flaws, but overall i am pretty friendly and just want to do good for others and myself.

Yes ofc i have those, i think everyone inevitably does something they regret or says some things they wish they didn't. But that's just life and you can always make things right if you want or let go and move on

i am not a person, i am 48 bats in a trench coat masquerading as one

I have said things in the not so distant past that I regret, but I'll keep moving forward. I'll never look back, I will keep forging my path, for I am all of me.

we are all sinners but some of us try very hard not to. I was able to quit smoking weed and drinking with the help of my Lord and savior, fwiw. Now I just need to focus on anger, patience and lust. The key is asking for forgiveness and trying to do your best.

Hopefully not.

引用自 bythelee：

Would you describe yourself as a good person?

Are there any situations where you have difficulty in conscience because of what you have done to others?

Yes and yes.

A good person is characterized by traits like honesty, integrity, kindness, and respect, who demonstrates compassion and empathy by treating others with dignity and fairness. These individuals are reliable, act selflessly without expecting anything in return, and are accountable for their actions.

I do lots of good things and I do lots of bad things, I'd like to think deep down I was a good person but to be honest, I have no idea.

引用自 bythelee：

Are there any situations where you have difficulty in conscience because of what you have done to others?

Good luck trying to get through life without at least few of those things.

引用自 bythelee：

Would you describe yourself as a good person?

Are there any situations where you have difficulty in conscience because of what you have done to others?

Other than having to defend a friend which turned into a bad situation. I can't think of anything major that I have done to others. There are a few things I wish I had not done for sure, but I tend to look at everything as a learning experience in order to grow.

At the end of the day, I know I've done more important positive things than anything negative. No matter what a stranger says.

Nope. And that's just because it's false to say so.

But, yes to the second question, I'd say.

I'd love to be but I make a lot of tumbles and trip a lot in my social interactions, so I don't think It would be proper to call myself one. Though, it is not really up to me to decide I suppose? People are self-critical and there will always be a counterpoint in our own mind.
As to the second question, often honestly. I fell into a feedback loop where I avoid socialising to prevent repeating the mistakes