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Yawning, you stumble into a vivid, brightly lit room, full of grinning furries. Every one of them beams with vehemant joy. It's so white-tooth bulbous-eyed brilliant that their collective giddy gazes strike like daggers.
There's just something not right here. Is it really a 'happy place'? Why are they so happy?
'We're really, really happy,' say the grinning furries, their grins deepening, their black eyes growing evermore effusive.
'Want to join us?' they say. 'Want to be a sexy furry like us?'
'F**k no,' you say.
The furries stop grinning. The lights dim.
'You don't seem like a nice guy,' says one of the furries.
'I couldn't care less,' you say.
The lights go out. All is black. A low gutteral growl can be heard among the snap-snap gnashing of teeth.
You step back, your simple intent being to leave through the the door from which you entered.
Your back hits what seems to be a wall.
'Ever played Baldur's Gate 3?' says a deep-toned voice from the black ahead of you.
'Because that scene with the bear ain't got nothing on what we gonna do to your ass.'
You race through the dark, smacking against walls, cabinets, slipping on water...it is water, right?
The howls and panting are hot on your back - you can almost feel the sickly lick of predators upon your neck.
'We're f**king friends,' says a voice from behind you. 'Haven't you seen our profile pictures?'
A raptorous howl vibrates through the dank labyrinth.
'We only want to play,' says the voice. 'If you don't like playing, then why are you on Steam...gamer guy?'
'Good f**king god,' you say as you turn, smacking against what appears to be a solid wall.
You claw every surface, hoping for an exit.
The lights go on.
You turn.
It's an army of grinning furries - everything from grinning 'buff' wolves, to grinning cats, to grinning...no...surely not...a grinning ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lemur.
'Sick horrendous b**tards,' you say, tears stinging your eyes as desperately you look around for anything normal.
'Do you like owls, my dude?' a grinning fricking owl says as it hops forward from the pack.
'No...' you say. 'Owls don't grin. Animals don't grin...'
'It's called a smile,' says one of the furries, darkly. 'A smile, unless you're a bigot, is a beautiful thing.'
**to be continued**